Amaral Antics

Random thoughts from tired parents and cuckoo children...

Friday, January 15, 2010

So my 11 year asks for a bottle of water and I know darn well he has one already open somewhere in the house. Angrily I get a water out of the fridge, hand it to him and warn him, "If you don't drink this whole thing I'm going to stick up your..." Then I collect myself and give him angry eyes instead of finishing my sentence. Then my 4 year old jumps in, "butt, actually ass... but not my ass, his ass," he says pointing at his brother. Ok, so I'm not going to get mother of the year.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

E says, "Chicks like flowers". On further examination I realized he was talking of chickens and flower seeds.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Driving home from preschool yesterday we saw a cable van pass by. E said "Look, the Comcast truck, he comes from On Demand."

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

So we are at the campground and a portly gentleman gets out of the driver's side of the RV in front of us and E exclaims sort of loudly, "They let the big guy out". Horrified that the guy heard I explained to E we don't talk about the way people look and some things are better of unsaid, blah, blah, blah... A moment passed and E was still staring at the rv with a puzzled look. I got up from my seat and I realized that he was talking about a giant inflatable Frankenstein way off in the distance right behind the heavy set guy. I felt like such a ding dong.

Monday, October 19, 2009

My kids thought it would be hilarious to hire Gordon Ramsey's son to stand in the kitchen at their school and berate the lunch ladies. "I said more cheese on the bleeping bleep macaroni, you donkey?" Can you picture it?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Mom says, "Eeeee it's time to get to sleeeeep". E replies, "Noooo, I'm full of going to bed".

Friday, September 25, 2009

Parenthood hurts. My 4 year old was blowing on a dandelion with his eyes closed. "Make a wish", I said. What does he say, "I wish I had a new mommy".


Dad says, "Look a car just like mommies". E says, "It's ok that they dressed it in white today, it can wear silver tomorrow".

Thursday, July 23, 2009

This New England spring and summer has undoubtedly been a rainy one. E was watching the news one morning with me while gazing out the window. In a mad and disappointed tone he exclaimed, "Oh great, the weather watched the news and now it's going to rain!"

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

E announced he'll be getting a motorcycle and his motorcycle will have training wheels.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

E was petting the dog when he says, "Mommy, tomorrow I'm going to wake up and be a black dog so I can lick my penis." He's three and already thinking like a guy.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

We were driving to day care and E saw one of the elderly/handicap vans with the big tall roofs. He said, "Look Mom, it's the alien truck". "Huh", I responded. "You know the van for aliens", he exclaimed. So now I'm wondering does he mean extra terrestrials or illegals and then I'm wondering why I'm even pondering that. Geez, I haven't even had my coffee...then I'm explaining the whole handicap wheelchair access thing to a three year old and I'm realizing that I sound like a total jackass.

Monday, February 04, 2008

I think at the early age of almost 3 E is already a pessimist. Most kids would gaze out at newly fallen snow with awe and delight. E simply says, "where all the grass go?"

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

It's been a long time since I've updated my blog. Not much mention of three (the 3rd child) poor three...he's 18 mos...maybe it's because he doesn't have a whole lot to say yet. He says "thank you" alot. He's redudant, but polite. Technorati Profile

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

O was coming out of swimming lessons and there is a church across the street. Well, the giant cross on the front lawn was on display for Easter with a white shroud hanging around it blowing in the wind. O says " LOOK, Jesus got off his leash!" Dad, A and I had a good laugh. The day after he decided to share the story with his teacher and the class, ugghh...the stories she must hear...

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Dad says, "Let's get grinders." Mom says "I like their Italian's", O says, "You mean you're gonna' grind Italians???"

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Each year we visit Aunt D's house after the big parade in town. This year as we were leaving the parade, O announced, "it's so great that Auntie has this parade every year"...

Sunday, August 14, 2005

O went to look for cereal when only finding a little box of Corn Flakes he proceeded to ask if we had any Frost...... I guess he really likes Frosted Flakes!!!!!!!

Friday, August 12, 2005

O will be fun at frat parties...while watching A practice in front of the soccer mom's he put a dollar bill to his nipple...Why you ask? Because, he stated loudly, "it was time for old George to have his breast milk." Where does he come up with this stuff? I was once again mortified. While out to dinner with the family he also told the waitress while pointing to E, "I'll have milk and he'll have breast milk" Good to see he's looking out for his brother (and George).

While at the market with A. I put some fresh fruit in the carriage where you usually sit an infant. A's pipes up "Gross, do you know how many Butts have been sitting there?"

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Dad says jokingly "O your 5 today, get yourself a beer"... O replies, "no thanks I'm driving".

Monday, October 25, 2004

We were in the car talking about the new baby...Dad called the baby "it", since we don't know the sex yet. O pipes up, "it's not an's a shit!" Funny moment.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

A, always so literal, reads a sign at a farm that says "electric fence in use, Coyotes keep away.", he also notices that it's just a small rope that is separating us from the electric fence... he turns to me and says "Mom, coyote's can't read and they are pretty short, I'm sure they could climb under that rope"... Wow, he's too much...

Monday, June 28, 2004

We use peapod now. Awesome service, though A named the driver "dixie queen", since one day he delivered dixie cups for the kids. Now O yells it out the window when he arrives, he (and all the neighbors) must think we are all insane...

Monday, June 21, 2004

A catches his first fish at a catch and release pond, not by reeling it in but by flinging the pole back behind him. Naturally, fish goes flying in the dirt with a giant thud, flopping around. So I lecture him about respect and being gentle. Blah, blah, blah. So when he tells the tale of his first catch he tells everyone shaking his head, "I caught a fish and didn't respect it..."

Monday, June 14, 2004

A lost his first baby tooth bottom front right...ohhhh my...didn't really enjoy pulling that out. He asked Dad and I the other night after an unsuccessful extraction..., "if I put my whole head under the pillow, will the tooth fairy come?

Monday, April 12, 2004

Daddy, as a joke, says he's going to "catch the Easter Bunny and cook him for dinner and eat him". O says, "you can't eat man, don't you know it's just a man in a bunny costume". Can't get much by him.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

I gave O a quarter and asked him what he wanted to buy with it...he said he wants to buy bigger lips so he can give me a giant kiss...I love being a Mom

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

O discovered orange marmalade on a recent vacation... while at the breakfast table, unfortunately, he loudly pronounced it... Mamma Laid. Imagine if you will a 3 year old chanting, "gotta get mamma laid"... Oye!

Monday, September 22, 2003

A guy came to my house to install an invisible fence for the dog. Can you believe he let the dog get loose?

Thursday, September 18, 2003

Who is sitting around dreaming up new fruit? I just had a prune plum... and who came up with a donut peach. They're delicious but very odd. Last night A's Kindergarten teacher said "scrotum" while pointing to and trying to say "sternum"... I laughed so hard I cried.

Friday, August 22, 2003

Why are all of the vacant gas stations in SE Mass turning blue?